Life is ironic. You spend 5-6 months slogging your ass, brains, heart off to give a project you dreamt of owning ever since I learnt of this new drug 2-3 years ago, knowing the stakes were so high as you were competing against so many big names with firmly established reputation in medical marketing field.
I was truly truly ecstatic when Mr Tan called to say they loved our idea and will be tasked with handling the A-Z of this, apart from the existing cardiometabolic portfolio – Saxenda etc. My hard work paid off and nothing mattered then – not the magnitude of the work involved, whether I actually had the capacity to take it on, given also my existing commitments to a lot of other clients – I felt overwhelming gratitude, accomplishment and joy. Also because obesity and these related co-morbidities are something really close to my heart as it has been an issue I’ve dealt with, I’d say almost all of my 36 years of life.
Then just 2-3 months ago, I had to make a very very difficult decision. I love my work and am happiest when working but I knew my body was falling under with all the stress and demands. And realistically, I only have 24 hours a day. Already I was working till 12 midnight and waking up every morning by default no later than 3.30am to work. As while everyone is still asleep, this is the only time I have to reply emails and work on proposals. During the day is attending to b2b meetings, both internal and external, clients calls, messages, entertain Experts and clients for meals, field visits etc.
As absurd as it sounds as there are so many our there vying for this account, I had to let this project go. As I told Liz and Mr Tan frankly, if I’m not confident that I can commit and dedicate my full 100% effort to a client, I rather choose not to take the project on. Then his question to me was, is it that the budget allocated to us isn’t enough. I said no, it’s not the money but an issue of the company’s reputation of 32 years and end commitment to our promised deliverables. This is something no amount of money can buy, and our reputation that whatever goes out, is nothing short of the best and as infallible as we can assure it to be – the quality and standards of our work is something I’m extremely fiercely protective and remain a strict gatekeeper of.
I still tear when I think of that fateful day when I had to make that decision and break the news to client. And this proposal is still on my desktop screen which I still open the document and look at it often and which I do not have the heart to remove. I still feel the regret and time to time again, question myself if I had made the right decision with this. And I never felt this heartfelt and personal ever in choosing to let an account go.
But like in economics, we learn of opportunity costs. And sadly, this has to be one of it.